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Success B al an ce
I t’s a proven fact that coming home to an organized, uncluttered living space
has a significant impact on stress levels. But even thinking about reorganizing
your home can start giving you palpitations. Luckily, you don’t have to be a
Feng Shui master in order to do it right — all it takes is applying a few simple
principles. To start, don’t try doing it all at once. Take things one room at a time.
Which items do you use in that area? How often? Which items would be better
placed somewhere else in the house? Most importantly, which things do you not
need at all? Don’t be afraid to be somewhat ruthless with assigning possessions
to the trash or donation pile…your aunt will never know you threw out those
cutesy stuffed animals she gave you for your 30th birthday. If you haven’t
used something in over a year, you probably aren’t going to miss it. Items you
want to keep but don’t use frequently, or which you’re holding onto purely for
sentimental reasons, should be stored in a watertight container in an out-of-the-
way location, such as an attic or closet shelf. Is there a table or counter where
you’re always tossing your purse or keys? Place a small table with a drawer or a
cute box or canister there to hold them. Assign a drawer in your desk or kitchen
for items such as pens and paper, so they don’t end up scattered all over your
house. If you tackle the job one small area at a time, you’ll have your whole
house in order before you know it. You’ll quickly notice the difference in how
you feel when you come home to relax in a tidy, uncluttered space.
Discord is a part of life —
but it doesn’t have to run
the show. While everyone
has their own way of
settling disputes, some are
more effective than others,
especially the ones that can
turn trouble into inspiration.
26 Sex Talk
Are you someone whose sexual desire has plummeted
out of sight? Do you feel mystified by your disinterest
in sex? Are you angry and frustrated about your sexual
relationship? According to author Michele Davis,
boosting the marriage libido is crucial in a marriage.
Sex is an extremely important part in keeping a
marriage together. When it’s good, it offers couples
the opportunity to connect emotionally and spiritually.
It builds closeness, intimacy a sense of partnership. Sex
is a powerful bind. When it’s weak, couples begin to
doubt, distance themselves and that’s when infidelity
may play a role in the marriage. When people believe
their spouse is not attracted to them and their feelings
are not being heard, they begin to feel depressed. This
causes a big void in the marriage. Explaining these
feelings to the other spouse can be hard, and is often
dismissed. I’ve had clients explain that their spouse
has said, “If you weren’t so controlling you would
just accept that I am not that physical.” I call this
emotionally unavailable. So what do you need to do to
stay happily married? Be more tuned to the feelings
and needs of your spouse. Once you start paying more
attention to your sexual relationship, your partner will
become a happier person. It means you are willing
to be more emotionally involved by thinking not only
about yourself but about each other. When you show
you are more caring by making sex a bigger priority in
your marriage, your spouse will appreciate your efforts
and become more caring toward you. Your spouse
may begin to open up more and notice your strengths,
rather than criticize you. So get started. Dedicate more
time to each other. It may even take you back to the
times in your relationship when it was just right.
L isette Beraja is a
Psychotherapist, Licensed Marriage
and Family Therapist & Founder
of Beraja Counseling Center. For
more than 10 years, she has
provided guidance and counseling
to individuals, families and couples.
She is also a Florida Supreme Court Family Mediator and
an 11th Judicial Court approved Parenting Coordinator.
To set up an appointment, call 305.858.7763 or visit
BerajaCounseling.com. Breaking Point
Emotions can run hot before they eventually
cool down to saner temperatures. Before
you launch into a full-scale war, take some
time to simmer down. You may find your big
issue looks a lot smaller after a few hours.
Sometimes the open-door policy isn’t
best. Often airing out problems in public
can turn into a magnet for drama. Try
hashing things out one-on-one in a place
where you won’t be interrupted.
Adding humor to a situation can be an
effective way to diffuse tension — but
be careful to do it properly. Laughing
at the wrong time, or in the wrong way,
can be like pouring gasoline on a fire.