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Success W ellne ss
Things get better with age...or so they say. However, some things
just become blatantly uncomfortable and painful the older we
get — hangovers being one of them. Whether you’re partying at
a fraternity house, attending a work dinner or visiting family for
Christmas Eve, one thing’s certain: alcohol and hangovers will be on
the menu. Here’s what a hangover looks like at different life stages.
T E X T BY R O S PR A D O
IN YOUR 20’S
Your favorite fraternity is hosting a holiday bash. You remember getting there but
can barely put the rest of the night together. You only got 3 hours of sleep and you’re
paying for those cheap beers you chugged. You wake up feeling drowsy, thirsty and
your stomach is feeling a bit weak. But no biggie, there’s nothing an enormous, greasy
breakfast can’t cure. Wash it down with a couple of full glasses of water and you’re
ready for the next party. After all, it’s the holidays, bring on the cheer and reindeer ears.
IN YOUR 30’S
Your company is hosting its annual holiday party. It’s awkward and boring but there’s
free booze, so you crash the bar like it’s your duty to deplete it. A pair of rum and
cokes, a couple of tequila shots and a few zzz’s later, you wake up feeling like a
zombie on The Walking Dead. Everything hurts, you’re sore in unexpected places and
you’re wondering if you still have a job. You attempt to make breakfast but fail, so
you drive to the nearest organic food shop and buy a smoothie. You’re never drinking
again…until next weekend comes around.
IN YOUR 40’S
You spent Christmas Eve at your sister’s house. The kids gathered around the tree
while the grown-ups hovered around the kitchen. Wine was flowing, laughs were
flowing and the occasional inappropriate comment was made. The next day you
wake up in purgatory. You beg for forgiveness but know it’s too late. Your stomach
is a mess, your head is about to explode, your feet are sore and you know you won’t
be able to keep food down. You have plans for brunch, but who can even think of
mimosas on their death bed? You put your sunglasses on, brush your teeth and
manage to make it to the restaurant. Skipping solids, you go straight for black coffee.
IN YOUR 50’S & BEYOND
It gets worse. Your liver has a half-century+ under its belt, it’s harder to stay hydrated
and your muscle mass has transformed into something else. All that before you throw
a medicine cabinet chock-full of prescription meds into the mix. Worse yet, the
previous decades of binge drinking, getting a hangover, sleeping it off and repeating
have added lots to your wrinkle collection and incessant bloating. Oh my. Next time a
group of friends wants to get together for a “drink”, try to reach for some water with a
twist of lemon. Your future self will thank you. And you’ll have a lot more drink left in
you by the time you reach your sunset years. Cheers to that!